We Wear The Mask
by kaito kitsune
Summary: We Wear The Mask. Mine of Mana hers of her brother...They know that even though they are heroes now as soon as the war is over no one will love them anymore.They will have no one.Will they fall into the darkness that rests within their hearts?
1. Prologue: The Usual Predicament

A/N: I read this poem in my english class this past friday and when i read it i immediately thought back to when allen was told to stop wearing the mask of mana and stuff and well...yeah i've had this poem/story in my head for a while. after reading this let me know if you think i should continue this as a story or leave it as it is...

Disclaimer: d. gray-man does not belong to me and nor does we wear the mask...if not lenaleee would have been doing smutty crap with allen years ago or i would have gotten lazy with writing/drawing the story so meh...es lo que es.

**We Wear The Mask**

Poem originally by Paul laurence Dunbar

Turned into d. gray-man thingy by moi...

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,

I turned the corner after leaving the arc still feeling disgusted with myself, I saw Lenalee and had a flashback to my dream from earlier. I smile a bit and say hello, deciding to walk with her. Although she was smiling now i knew that she was crying on the inside out of fear since Leverier was here. She was still terrified of the man.

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,-

We turned another corner and then went to my room, the both of us sensing one another's inner turmoil. To everyone who saw us along the way, we grinned with our eyes closed. no one but us would be able to tell it was fake.

This debt we pay to human guile;

When we got to my room she decided to take a shower since it was a way to calm down and I chained myself to my wall. it's what I do when I feel myself loosing control. I knew Lenalee was crying right now, but if I went to her right now, the 14h would most likely take over. While chained to my wall I thought about the dream I had yet again. In my dream, the 14th took over and killed everyone precious to me, and saved Lenalee for last. I remembered her screams and pleas for me to stop but I couldn't.

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

Lenalee came out and walked over to me with tears in her eyes and a pained smile she brought one hand up to my own face.

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

She unchained my arms and legs and I fell to the floor. I brought her into my arms and cradled her body to my own, her delicate frame shaking as she put her arms around my neck and I embedded my head into the crook of her neck.

Why should the world over-wise,

We didn't want anyone to ask us what was wrong or if we were okay.

In counting all our tears and sighs?

We knew something was wrong with us, we knew we were not okay. We didn't need anyone's pity.

Nay, let them only see us, while

We'll see them when we are okay enough

We wear the mask.

to place our masks on once again. my mask of mana, her mask for komui.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

We cried in each others arms, we cried out to whatever god there may be in the world, that the twisted madness could end

To thee from tortured souls arise.

The bit if us reliving the tortures we've been through.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

the long journey we've been traveling on a path covered in rose bushes, filled with it's ups and downs like notes on a sheet of music,

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

The never-ending fight between the exorcists and the noah-clan tearing up our sanity as well as our souls.

But let the world dream otherwise,

we drift off into our world of sleep, only to wake up with our masks renewed,

We wear the mask!

We continue to fake it, with our masks we keep going. the fact that our faces are masks known only to us...

* * *

OKAY. i am starting to feel like a hypocrite because a: i made a SHORT story and i hate this b: I made a poetry fic and those IRK me... and c: I'm thinking about leaving it as a oneshot! i hate oneshots because there is never enough to satisfy my appetite! please oh please let me know if you want me to actually make this into a story because i already have some stuff set aside for this but still! HELP! AYUDAIME! I FORGOT HOW TO SAY HELP IN OTHER LANGUAGES OH NOES! :P bleh...gone to all who endure my rants but don't forget i loves you all! and to my new readers... YOROSHIKU MINA-SAN!

o / \\ o

\/^w^\\/

_/ \_ RICEBALLS ROCK!(i tried but i'm not sure if this will look like a riceball to you guys :P)


	2. Chapter 1: The Ways We Cope Pt1

I DO NOT OWN DGM. OTHERWISE LEVREIR WOULD BE DEAD IN SOME DITCH, ROAD WOULD BE MORE OF A LIL SIS TO ALLEN AND STOP (sexually) HARRASSING HIM, AND HE WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS WITH FOU. OH AND HE WOULD PROBABLY BE WITH LENALEE. SORRY FOR THE LONG SEMI-HIATUS! THIS CONTAINS DARK DARK THEMES! BEWARE!

Special thanks to Northern Lights Wolf, Stargazer-Aika, TWI-hard kristine101, and all my anonymous readers out there!

* * *

Why does it feel like night today?  
Something in here's not right today.  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left  
I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed  
But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head  
Like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
(And watches everything)

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
You've got a face on the inside too and  
Your paranoia's probably worse  
I don't know what set me off first  
But I know what I can't stand  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time they lie  
A face that laughs every time they fall  
(And watches everything)

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is watching you too  
Right inside your skin

It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin

The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me  
The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me

The sun  
I feel the light betray me  
The sun  
I feel the light betray me

It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

"Papercut" by Linkin Park

* * *

Chapter 1: The Way We Cope Part 1

* * *

Walking through the corridors of the Black Order was none other than the destroyer of time himself, Allen Walker. He was on his way to the arc. He needed a retreat to go to so that he could let his cries of despair go unknown to all but himself. Little did he know that Lenalee too, was looking for an escape now that Levreir (please read as Hitler wannabe) was back. She was just as in need of release as Allen.

So when they bumped into each other all they needed to do was take one look in each other's eyes to see that they wanted the same thing, but to make it seem normal to others, Allen asked Lenalee if she would care to join him to a surprise destination. Of course she could do nothing but graciously comply to his request.

They had long since figured out each other's secrets. Or at least they had a general idea of what they were and they both had an agreement of silence that was never voiced, just automatically known. They walked in understanding silence with their masks in place, only stopping to ask Jerry for some snacks.

Once they arrived at the arc, Allen lead them directly to the 14th's room, and then into a small room branching off from that room. It was a room Allen recently created, without anyone's knowledge of course.

* * *

**Allen's POV**

Once inside, I went to my special box that was hidden from sight and filled with sharp objects. I heard Lenalee gasp behind me. I simply ignored her in favor of pulling out a razor blade, some rubbing alcohol, and some cloth. After that I slid down the wall I had decided to lean on after a while and settled myself on the floor. Instead of allowing the tears to fall as they pleased I dragged the razor across my arm. After the feeling was gone I closed my eyes and continued to repeat the process over and over again until I reached the point of possibly passing out due to blood loss. I looked up weakly to find Lenalee already starting to tend to my wounds.

"Why?" is what she asked after she finished fixing me up.

"So that I know that I'm alive. So that I know I'm still human. So I know that I'm still me." I said breathily.

I raised a faltering and weak hand up to caress her face, in hopes of providing some semblance of comfort. In return she held on to it crying all the while. At some point, I'm not quite sure when, I passed out. I slipped into the terrifying, comfortable darkness within my mind. It's strange how the thing I fear is such a comforting and familiar sight.

"_Why do you loathe me so? I have done nothing to you?"_ I heard the 14th's voice call out to me.

"_It's because you're going to make me kill the ones most precious to me. It's because you are bad. It's because you've made everyone think I'm going to turn on them."_ I replied.

"_I have done no such things nor do I plan on doing so. That is simply what those around you believe. Do you know why I am rejected by Noah and Exorcists alike?"_ he asked me.

"_No, all I know is that you're a Noah and Noah are my enemy."_ I said, wondering what the point of all this was.

"_It's because I refused to help the Millennium Earl once I learned of his goal and I was not accepted by Exorcists because I was a Noah. So I decided to stay by Mana's side for as long as I could. Not to mention many exorcists were becoming either corrupt or misguided." _He explained.

"_And why should I believe you?"_

"_You don't have to believe me, I just thought you should know." _I heard the rapidly fading voice of the 14th chuckle, "_Oh and by the way my name is Neah."_

Just as he said that I woke up.

"Allen!" Lenalee exclaimed in a relief filled tone.

"Would you like to head back now?" I asked hoarsely, trying to get my mind off the conversation I just had with 'Neah'.

She handed me a glass of water and nodded.

"Sure."

"Hey Allen! What's going on man? I haven't seen you since this morning? Same goes for you Lenalee!" Lavi greeted energetically.

"Che stupid Moyashi." Kanda grumbled with disdain.

"BaKanda." I regarded with equal dislike, "And we've just been hanging out. How about you Lavi?"

"Well-um-you see…Komui." Lavi said while shifting side to side uncomfortably.

"Oh no! Sorry Allen you better hide! I should go make them coffee." Lenalee said immediately getting what I don't understand.

Wait why should I hide? Why does she need to make coffee? Why is Lavi looking so scared? And what's this about Komui? Wait… Komui + Lavi scared + me having to hide= Angry Komui. Oh and Lenalee was missing to so that means…OH CRAP I HAVE TO HIDE!

I sighed happily, grateful for the return to normalcy. Only to have it ruined when I looked at my reflection in a window. Then my mind wondered back to the conversation I had with 'Neah'. It seemed plausible given all the things that have happened so far. I kept running until I reached my room and promptly locked the door behind me.

I stayed up all night just in case Komui was going to bust in my room gun blazing with a surprise attack. Dark thoughts haunted my mind the whole time…

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter. Gintama binges and yaoi binges are not good for the moods necessary in this fic. The only reason why I'm posting this now is because I got 'in the mood' again... Thank you minna-san, konbanwa!


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